Trump Flunked Out of Autocracy University

In a newly-released document, which is thought to have originated in Russia on the dark web, it is claimed that Donald Trump took secret online classes on autocracy and voter suppression. Autocracy University is thought to be led by Vladimir Putin and has a history going back several decades. Early graduates were Viktor Orbán and Recep Tayyip Erdogan. Russian graduates include Dmitry Medvedev and Nikolai Patrushev. More recently, Steve Bannon graduated at the top of his class. Current students include Nick Fuentes and J.D. Vance, who take evening classes. Stephen Miller applied several times but was rejected because of his Jewish heritage. He was told that if he brushed up on his Hitler imitations and publicly renounced Judaism, he would be reconsidered. Benjamin Netanyahu was also rejected but obtained clandestine course materials through the Mossad. Nicolas Maduro was previously enrolled but flunked out while Hugo Chávez was still alive. Although Jeffrey Epstein never enrolled, he was on friendly terms with some of the graduates and occasionally advised them on money-laundering techniques. There is no evidence that Xi Jinping has had any involvement with Autocracy University, though some have reported that he may be on the board of trustees. 

Ordinarily, Autocracy University is tuition-free. This is because autocrats as a group have sufficient funds to keep it in operation and consider it to be an investment in their future. Their ideal student is an angry, poor, white, non-Jewish male from the lower or lower-middle classes. Exceptions are made for Asians and Africans who are otherwise qualified. Donald Trump was one of the earliest applicants, and he was initially rejected because he didn't fit their student profile. However, when he began to take an interest in politics, the university made an exception for several reasons. First, he did not qualify for tuition-free enrollment, and they charged him one billion dollars. Second, they saw immediately that he could easily be manipulated by flattery. And third, recognizing that, because he was white and rich, Americans would never recognize him as a Russian mole. To make matters even better, they determined that, because of his narcissism, he himself would never realize that he was a Russian mole.

It is unclear exactly when Trump began coursework at Autocracy University. By 2016 he exhibited some authoritarian behavior during his first presidential campaign, and he may have taken classes before then. Although, by all indications, Trump never completed his coursework satisfactorily and was mildly reprimanded several times, he remained an enrolled student primarily because the trustees came to see him more as a strategic asset than as a competent student. Specifically, Putin wanted a compliant American president to assist him with his military objectives in Ukraine. Trump was cooperative with Putin during his first term, but the Russo-Ukrainian War didn't begin until 2022, when he was out of office. In his second term, beginning in 2025, Trump was supposed to immediately pressure Volodymyr Zelenskyy to surrender to Russia. That failed to work. Furthermore, when Trump's tariffs disrupted international trade, Xi Jinping is thought to have criticized Trump to the oligarchs. Above all, Trump had taken a course in minority suppression, which he never completed. There is an entire chapter in that course on never allowing the public to see evidence of the punishment or assassination of non-minority people in their countries. According to the leaked document, after the January 24, 2026 shooting of Alex Pretti and the following news coverage, the board of trustees held an emergency meeting and expelled Donald Trump. He will not receive a diploma. They also discussed whether Nick Fuentes or J.D. Vance should be promoted as Trump's successors and grant them early degrees.

Note that this information will not appear in the American news media because of its ongoing suppression by the Trump administration.